Wars are at Wage…for My Destiny.
On and off throughout my life I’ve been haunted with vivid nightmares. They came in waves, and were often brought on by a lack of peace in my heart that stemmed from unresolved issues in my life. For weeks at a time I would wake up with a twisted feeling in my stomach. I would think to myself “I’ve already been healed from this experience….why does it keep coming back in my dreams?” or “Maybe God’s angry with me.” This led to a rift between me and God. I thought He was punishing me for my mistakes and that tore my trust severely. I prayed every night and every morning. I always asked God what I did wrong. I tried to live my life to please Him yet it was still not enough. I knew better than to try to “earn” God’s love, but in my heart I truly wanted to please Him. Every night it was the same, and every morning I asked God “Why?” I knew He didn’t hate me, but I also knew He was big enough to protect me from these dreams. I confessed to a friend that I was angry with God and he instantly said “Your anger is what’s causing you not to hear Him.”
Well dang….That’s not what I was looking for, but I knew he was right. I asked God to forgive me for my ignorance and in moments I felt like I was back in fellowship with my King. There was only one problem…..the nightmares continued. I wondered why, but I had faith that God loved me and I just needed to keep my eyes on Him. I decided to stop worrying about my dreams and just try to ignore them. I have so much more to be thankful for….so why complain? People have gone through much worse and that didn’t shake their faith. I was ashamed at my weakness but decided to just move on.
A few nights ago I was sitting on my back porch, when I closed my eyes here’s what I saw: Supreme beings at war. Angels versus demons.
The demons seeped out of the earth cloaked in clouds of blackness. The angels came from above…glowing with anger. Their swords clashed causing sparks to fly and illuminating the sky with flames. With every stroke their strength grew. When I looked at the demons I felt a gust of wind chill me to the bone and I shuddered in horror. In a moment, I was struck with fear. There were so many demons. I could hear their names echoing in my head “Anger, bitterness, inadequacy, fear, resentment….” They were all present, and more kept coming. I felt so small to be witnessing this scene. I had prayed against demons before but never so many at once….and they never seemed so real. What difference would my prayers make? Then I realized something…..these demons were tormenting me. Me and people I love. Suddenly my fear evaporated and was replaced with anger. Rage filled my heart and I started to pray. I know the devil is an idiot but I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to attack my loved ones. So I prayed…And prayed, and prayed. I rebuked him and his little minions and declared peace over myself and those being tormented by these demons. I pleaded Jesus’s blood over the situation and pulled close to God. I instantly felt a release; then as quickly as it had started, the vision disappeared. I went inside with tears pouring down my face. I took a deep breath and somehow I knew everything was going to be ok. I trusted that God knew what He was doing and the situation would be handled to the glory of His name.
I’m reminded of a book I read a long time ago. At one point the author notes that many prophets and preachers had brushes with death at a young age. It’s the same in the spiritual realm. The devil will do anything and everything he can to stop spiritual growth and development. I’ve always called this the “dirty player phenomenon.” If you’ve ever played any contact sports you probably know where I’m going with this. Before playing a game, teams naturally size up their opponents. My old basketball coach once told me about a crooked coach she knew. This woman would have her smallest player intentionally harm the best players on the opposing team…..she was instructed to do whatever it took to get them out of the game. The way I see it, satan knows what he’s doing. He’s a crooked coach and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win.
So when you’re faced with the challenges of life, don’t let your faith weaken. Instead of wondering why God’s “letting” bad stuff happen, remember that wars are at wage for your destiny. When you got up this morning there was a little whimper in the pits of hell and satan barked out “C’mon boys! get your game faces on…..today is our day.” Little did he know exactly what he was getting himself into. Why? Because God’s already won the battle.
Oh, and the dreams? Gone….