Serious Talk

by withchangecomesgrowth

Some people wonder why I care so deeply for my guy friends. One person suggested that I might feed off the attention from so many guys. I reflected on this for a few days, and realized that I USED TO thrive on that attention, but God did something in my heart about a year ago and it changed everything. I made a list of why I think these friendships are so important (and healthy.)

  1. I don’t think all guys are jerks or players, and sometimes a brother just needs that vote of confidence.
  2. I am not interested in or looking for a relationship, therefore I have no gain or loss when it comes to their dating lives. This makes it easy for them to come to me for advice on what to buy their girlfriend for her birthday, or what would be good date ideas. This only works because I act like the girls are my sisters (even if I don’t know them.) Their best interest is always in mind.
  3. I understand a lot of what goes on in the male mind (having lived in a house with 6 guys.) That being said, I am not always as quick to judge as other girls (see#1)
  4. I keep good boundaries.
  5. I have four brothers and as I watch my three younger brothers grow into men I pray every day that they will not be tempted to lust and fall. I don’t want them to be led astray by some girl with nice curves and a cute laugh. I make sure I’m never that girl.
  6. I can use insights that I get from my guy friends to help my gal friends understand why guys can be so confusing.
  7. I can also use those insights to help the guys with their struggles. Example: A friend of mine told me that he finds it tough to keep his mind on track when he gets on facebook and sees girls showing cleavage and legs. This is a christian guy who has good judgment when it comes to the friends he chooses. So why is this stuff showing up in his newsfeed? I suggested he hide those girls from his newsfeed for the time being. Girls, it’s time to STEP UP and make a change.
  8. I’m like the person working behind the scenes – nobody sees what I do and I’m okay with that. I’m NOT looking for credit; I just see an urgent need that’s begging to be filled. I know parents do their best to fill this role, but let’s be honest…teenagers don’t always listen to mom and dad.
  9. Whether it is cutting words or revealing clothes, girls need to know how damaging their actions can be to the guys around them. Most guys don’t know how to get this point across, or don’t want to run the risk of sounding weak…so they keep their mouths shut. It’s time to make a change for our generation.
  10. I am willing to stand in the gap for people who don’t understand how serious this stuff is.

I’m one hundred percent okay with getting on my knees to pray on someone else’s behalf. Why? Because this isn’t just bad habits or annoying behavior…this is bigger than that. Our actions are all a part of a chain reaction. The question on the minds of current day youth is, “How far we can push our boundaries without actually sinning?” The issue is our motives. Why do we flirt? Why do we want nice cars? Why do we listen to mainstream “music” that screams lustful ideas to a catchy tune? Why do we constantly do everything we can to make ourselves look better? Pride. Fear of rejection. Lack of contentment.

I will tell you something…I was NOT “born this way.” Neither were you. Our choices are what make us who we are. The best decision I ever made was to walk away from the world and put my life in the capable hands of my Creator. Any ounce of beautiful that’s connected to me is solely the work of His love and grace. Conversely, my sin is on my hands. All that is good comes from the Lord; so any sin that I have allowed to leak into my heart is fully my doing. My pride. My flesh.  My responsibility.  We need to be building each other up. Girls, don’t say, “Oh he needs to control his eyes, it isn’t MY fault.” If you’re tempting him with the way you dress then you automatically take part in it. Don’t be part of the problem, be the solution.

I know this all seems a bit harsh, but I’m trying to get a point across. We have GOT to raise the standard.